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No expectations. No frustrations. Just light, ready to take flight.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Side Table Note

I’m done.
I’m spent.
I’m empty.

I tried everything to experience a different fate.
I did all I can do just to steer clear from this path.
Unfortunately, I failed... failed miserably.

That is why I’m here,
rambling instead of celebrating.
Lying with my precious rubies drenched in white linen.

I’m tired.
I’m sick.
I’m bored.

I trace the very steps I have avoided for years.
I feel in my very core what I have felt ever since.
Now, I can say I did give it a try but it is the same.

Nothing is changed.
Nothing made it better.
Nothing at all.

I feel the rush escaping my body,
running away from its confinement.
I have decided that it is time for me to go.

Ready or not, I just have to.
No turning back now.
Finally, something I wanted is really happening.

For all my life were filled with silly disappointments.
From my unwelcome conception to my mediocre existence.
My life was a waste of space and time.

I was dead before my death.
I was finished even before I started.
I will be going away before my time.

The consolation I get is the bright light I see now.
The sound of angels singing in perfect harmony.
It assured me that I need not fear.

I will be welcomed there.
I know I will be taken in.
I will finally be loved.

How could I not be?
I ought to have a happy ending.
After all I went through, I deserve it.

As I take your applause proudly.
As I tearfully do my final walk.
I wave to all of you who cared.

I say “Thank you” for caring.
I say “I’m sorry” for not.
Enough words, enough jargon.

I bid farewell to you and you Sir as well.
I crossover with a simple thought and a smile.
Happiness is just 3 inches deep and 1 centimeter wide.

13 comments:

Lance said...

sweet goodbyes...
nice, creative post...=)

joelmcvie said...

Something good has definitely come out of your quitting cigarettes. =)

Looking For The Source said...

nice. real nice.

dabo said...

hay ang eemo ng mga post ng mga nasa blogworld huhuhu..

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this is a good stuff.. we felt the dagger

RONeiluke, RN said...

really creatively written... touches the heart...

bittersweet goodbyes huh? really cool... nakakaEMO eh...haha!

dazedblu* said...

sweet thought here :) droppin' by.

joaqui_miguel said...

@lance: Thank you for dropping by. :)

@joelmcvie: hehehe M still struggling but soon I'll be there. :)

@looking for the source: Thanks. :)

@dabo: Just going with the season. lol. Thanks. :)

@roneiluke,rn: Thanks. Wow, I didn't know this could "touch hearts". Thanks so much!

@dazedblu*: Thanks for dropping by. :)

RONeiluke, RN said...

gusto ko na tuloy mapanood yung movie version! weee! try mo tong series..the japanese are bloody wicked in these stuff... really cool!

boying said...

lalim...
naghang ako...

ayos... tsuy!

joaqui_miguel said...

@roneiluke,rn: I might. I have a few books lined up so I may not be able to attend to it now. I have the attention span of a kindergarten student so if I mix them all I might be lost with the vampires and the death notes. I might imagine vampires writing down the names of their victims instead of really going at it and piercing their teeth into their victims' neck. lol When I'm done with all these books, I will. Thanks for the recommendation. :)

@boying: :) hehehe Thanks for dropping by. :)

Ely said...

you're a poet...

wanderingcommuter said...

buti na lang walang blade malapit sa kin. baka naglaslas na lang ako bigla. hehehe.

joaqui_miguel said...

@ely: Thanks. :)

@wanderingcommuter: Whoa! Good thing, there was none or else I might carry the guilt forever. I couldn't bear that. hehehe