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No expectations. No frustrations. Just light, ready to take flight.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Message

At 3:49 in the morning, I am sitting in front of my computer with the welcome page of my email account laid before my eyes.

It has been more than 24 hours when I last sent a message your way yet after checking my mailbox triple the times than I usually do in a day I am frustrated to see no response. It was just the other day we were sending messages back and forth as if we were just communicating through instant messaging. This change puzzles me a bit.

I gather all frustrations as I inhale deeply then release them all in one hearty exhale. Feeling a lot lighter now, I smile.

It’s funny how mystery can be so engaging.
I don’t know you yet I long to hear from you.

You are not obliged to respond at all.
Yet I hope you obligate yourself to do so.

As always, no one else to blame why I am in this predicament.
No one… just me, myself and I for hoping… for expecting.

Now, as the bold blue letters from the screen in front of me shout,

0 message(s) received

I whisper to myself with a smile lightly glazed with pain,

“Yes, I get the message."

14 comments:

Tristan Tan said...

For all you know, this person must be feeling exactly the same thing... Lighten up Joaqui, things are not always how you perceive them to be. ;)

ArchieMD said...

ganyan lang talaga ang mokong na yun...

don't worry. you will be good. believe me.

Looking For The Source said...

hirap tlga pag nageexpect.

dapat no expectations eh para frustration-free

wanderingcommuter said...

haaay, isn't that really ironic? na sad ako bigla. sigh!

boying said...

hahay. tsk. tsk. tsk.

Chyng said...

it's important to read the signs. ;)

add kita sa blogroll ko! ;)

Aris said...

minsan, ang hirap basahin ng katahimikan. kadalasan, may ibig itong sabihin na higit sa ating naiintindihan.

this short piece is so well-written. i love it! :)

dabo said...

silence is also a blanket, but it couldn't warm hearts essentially in the night when thousand fireflies started weaving a dream but you had to tell them to stop..

KRIS JASPER VAN DYKE said...

hmmm.. maybe busy?

joaqui_miguel said...

@tristan tan: Hmmm... Curious but I seriously doubt that. hehehe

@archiemd: :) Thanks for dropping by.

@looking for the source: So true. One of my incurable sickness. :( I should learn not to set expectations over things I want.

@wanderingcommuter: Don't be sad. I will be more sad if you will be sad. :(

@boying: Right. Tsk Tsk Tsk

@chyng: I agree. :)

Wow. Thanks so much! I appreciate it, big time! :)

@aris: Correct. One of the hardest to read actually.

I love that you love it. :)

@dabo: True. That sounds so romantic but it didn't reach that far.

@kris jasper van dyke: lol I love your comment. Maybe he is. :)

Keitaro Hanazawa said...

Mental and emotional torture.

Ito yung silence na nakakabingi sa sobrang sakit ng feeling ng naghihintay ng wala. hay.

joaqui_miguel said...

@keitaro hanazawa: I could kiss you for saying what's on my mind! So true. lol :)

xxxborgexxx said...

You are too kind to be feeling that way for the person, and you are too cruel to yourself. Take your perspective farther away: your emotional sh!t means nothing to the world. The world has bigger things in it. Your damn situation is no big deal. Get up, run away, scream, drink, get drunk, get a life. Get a fcuk. Forget, have fun, and at the end of the day, know that even when sh!t happens, you made something happen for yourself. Live pare sayang oras mo.

joaqui_miguel said...

@borge: Thanks! I'm over it and I am already living! Thanks! ;)