Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I tried. Lord knows I tried so damn hard. I falter. Apparently my experience or the lack of it precedes my effort. I am incapable. It cripples me. It feels like as much as I want to move forward, it is not my decision to make. I thought I make the rules. Surprisingly, I don’t. I thought I learned my lessons well. I thought that I have learned to accept that things do not go my way. Not because of any other reasons but mainly because that is what I want. I do not get what I want. I don’t learn. Each day I have to live with that. Each day I have to arduously implant that in my head because if I don’t I will be back here. This is my default. I question. I wait for answers. I get questions in return. Time passed by and I am still unchanged. I am sorry. I tried.