It started with a message from my brother last Saturday morning. Although it has been lingering for quite some time now, somehow I have learned to deal with it. But then sometimes the cup empties sooner than we expect. Now, I am back to where I was after watching Daybreak.
I have a family, though faraway, I know cares and loves me unconditionally. I have a very good set of friends that is always there for me. But at the end of the day, I go home alone. I go to bed alone. I sleep alone.
Tonight I will settle with Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan serenading me with ABBA songs with the hope of supressing what is imminently coming. I will be content with those adorable stares from John Lloyd Cruz and be lost and suspended from my own reality. Tonight I will survive with a bottle of wine left from a dinner date on my left hand and a freshly opened pack of flavoured cancer sticks on my right.
I know tonight will pass and it will gloriously end in a dream. And tomorrow is a new day. A new week, a new beginning.
And when the cup is threatened to be empty again, I will always have my wine and cigarettes.
I just wonder, how many bottles and packs do I need to last me a lifetime?