I stepped in calm, collected and a bit tired as I positioned myself somewhere I can be detached from everybody. Impossible really but I looked for a place where I can be safe from the crowd. It was stupid for me to think that I can actually isolate myself in a place known to be jam-packed with people. Oh well, I needed this so I have no right to be, for the lack of a better term, diva-esque. This was nothing new to me. I have been here before with different kinds of people. Some of them I personally know but mostly were strangers. I have seen the motions and I even participated. This time, I conditioned myself, it was no different.
There I was, leaning my back on something cold and white, trying to relax as I get the feel of the whole scene. Minutes passed by and it was intensifying right before my eyes. It was just a matter of time when I will be consumed with the whole scene and be engaged in it all.
He moved in front of me. I was unprepared and unguarded. He was moving so close for comfort and I just closed my eyes in awkwardness. I opened my eyes to take a glance of his face but I was unsuccessful. He was approximately of the same height as mine and his built was something I envy. I breathed in taking in a bit of his scent which I thought could have been better. I glanced at my watch and then I understood. He probably sensed I was a bit uneasy so he apologized. I acknowledged his apology with understanding wrapped in silence. His voice convinced me that he was worth it and I needed not see his face to allow myself to be lost in the motions. I held on to that wonderful voice being replayed on my mind several times. His body was now rubbing against mine and I can just wish for time to stand still. Though we were both uncomfortable I would not mind to be stuck there for a few more minutes. I welcomed the warmth of his body dedicated to me when his muscle-toned back touched my tanned chest. His head was annoyingly restless that his coarse hair touched my smooth face. Again, it could smell better if he wished for it but then again, I understood. He mumbled words of apologies again which I accepted without complaints. When I heard his voice one more time, my imagination went on auto-pilot bringing me to my paradise with this man with me now. Then it dawned on me that anytime now, it will reach a fate similar to all trips. I opened my eyes with the harshness of reality. I squinted and frowned knowing that it was time. I closed my eyes again hoping I will be able to escape this reality but then that familiar voice reminded me that I won’t.
“Ortigas Station. Ortigas Station. Please don’t block the way of entering and leaving passengers. Next station, Santolan Annapolis Station.”
As I stepped out of the train, he smiled and apologized once more for the push and occasional bumps of his head to mine. I faked a smile in acceptance of his apology. He kept his smile and I was drawn to him. He had this nice smile and cute dimples, sexy jaw line and that Piolo-like mole near his adorable eyes. All in all reminiscient of Spanish Telenovela star.
“Sorry ulit kuya.”
I smiled back this time with all sincerity and I walked away keeping that smile whispering to myself,