The usual Bed scene was at full swing when I arrived a little over two o’clock that night. It was crowded with PLUs from across the whole gay spectrum; from the newbies to the experts, from the softies to the toughies, from the obvious to the ambiguous. The music was expectantly fabulous and the lights were unexpectedly bright. Everyone was moving either lost in the rhythm or lost in the crowd and looking for their buddies. I weaved my way through the Dean and Trents, F&Hs, People are Peoples, Topmans and what-have-yous to reach my favorite spot. This spot gives me a decent view of the guys dancing on the ledge with gorgeous bodies and faces that makes you want to scream, “wow, dear god” to the occasional “why dear god”. As I was doing the routinely ocular inspection I was surprised to see three guys I never expected to see in one night, Mr. I-will-not-have, Mr. I- cannot- have and Mr. I-did-not-have.
Mr. I-will-not-have is probably the best looking PLU I have ever seen. He has eyes that could melt your heart, smile that could get him a spot in a toothpaste commercial (with dimples to match) and skin close to perfection. His aura was so overwhelmingly humble when in fact he has all the reasons to be boastful. He was wearing what I thought he wore when I first saw him, a green polo shirt, denim pants and green cap. He was with a different guy this time but the whole motion was so reminiscent with the last time. His companion donned this expression of conceit for being with the arguably best looking guy in the bar yet every time Mr. I-will-not-have was approached by other guys he would shrink to a speck in an instant. More than a couple approached him that night but I was content to look at him from afar. I am contented with the occasional eye-to-eye contact that we have that does not fail to make me smile. Looking from afar, also gave me a clear view of the motions. He is not to be blamed if a lot of guys showed interest in him same thing as his companion is not to be blamed to feel conceit one minute then reduced to a dwarf the next minute in instances like that. For that very reason, I know I will not have him for I know I am not equipped for that constant emotional roller coaster ride.
Mr. I-cannot-have is a celebrity of some sort. I first saw his pictures online when he joined some kind of beauty pageant for PLUs. He has a strong jaw line, beautiful smile and smooth skin all-in-all totaling to a boy next door look yet his body would tell you that he is no longer a boy. He is a man with well developed muscular body and tattoos of what seemingly his dreams on his broad shoulders. I never knew much of him until I saw him in a reality television show. Although I personally think he looked better when I saw him in a shop of People are People a few months back, I still made it a point to catch him every week on the show and get my weekly dose of his smile, personality and body. I know a lot of people are turned off with him but I just couldn’t get myself to join them. He has this certain effect on me that transcends words. It is not hazy to me that we may be worlds apart. He is a celebrity and the closest that I can get to that status is being teased to look like one. I also distinctly remember him saying that he is not into long-term relationships, it just so happens that I prefer one.
Mr. I-did-not-have is an acquaintance I met through a colleague. He was one of the people I met during my baptismal to the Bed scene. He is kind of short yet he has a face that could make him stand tall. He has a smile that could make some guys swoon and his style was something most guys would like to own. Every time we meet we exchange casual hellos and goodbyes. Though at times I can feel some sexual tension in some of our unexpected encounters, I learned to brush it off each and every single time. When I was introduced to him he was then so into my colleague which baffled me no end. Now that their relation is estranged, I still cannot get past the fact that he first met my friend. I may be attracted to him still but I resolved that I am not my friend’s recycle bin.
The music was getting louder and the lights were getting busier. I closed my eyes and let the loud music silence me even just for a few seconds. I submitted myself to the wave of the rhythm splashed all across the bar. I slowly moved my body and allowed to be consumed by the energy pumped inside the bar. Every bump of another body to mine fed the energy and convinced me to continue. Then out of nowhere, I felt a unique bump from the back. I felt the warmth of the body that was seemingly familiar. It had a comforting effect on me. I slowly opened my eyes and gave a final glance to the Mr. I-will-not-have, Mr. I-cannot-have and Mr. I-did-not-have. I then looked back and acknowledged what I have.