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No expectations. No frustrations. Just light, ready to take flight.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Sorry

Act 1. A friend of mine butted in while I was having this trivial discussion with a colleague.

“He’s like that. He always wants to have the last say.”
“Of course not.”
“See, even that he will not just let me state my opinion without refuting it.”
“You are talking about me. Can I not just defend myself?”

Act 2. I was in a discussion with a friend about my actions in the past months.

“When I was told about it, I did not judge you. But now, hearing you confirm it, then I’m judging you, Joaqui.”
“But I did not do anything wrong.”
“You did! Do you ever admit you are wrong?”
“Of course, I do. It’s just that I don’t think I did something wrong.”


I am not a saint. I did things in my life that lack the better judgement of a conservative and “men for others” upbringing. Being a fan of courtroom drama series in my teenage years, I learned that I can get away with any crime just so long I can convince people to give me that not guilty verdict. I would never describe myself as self-righteous and egotistical that is why it is a bit alarming when some new friends tell me that I am. I do acknowledge mistakes and I do my best to learn from them. I am not too proud to say sorry when I know I did something wrong. In fact, I can be the first one to say sorry to someone who may have wronged me.

As I look at the unflattering skyline of Makati just outside of my place, with a lighted light cigarette on my hand and extrastrong mint in my mouth, doing some introspection I realized that I may have done something that I would not want to be reciprocated to me. And for that let me say,

I am sorry. I sincerely apologize for going there when I know I should not have. I will not even try to explain for what is done is done and I cannot take it back. I did cross the line and it was not the best decision back then. I am sorry for the pain that it may have caused you. I know you are a good friend, a very good friend, in fact, and all your friends can attest to that. And I could have been one of those friends that could give a truthful testimonial of the great friendship you can offer but by doing what I did, I stupidly gave up that opportunity. Again, I am sorry. Just a few days back, you showed you were indeed a good person, by linking the bridge of friendship once again. I may have been too arrogant then to realize that I offended you but that is not the case now. Thank you for being you and I apologize for being me in that whole phase. One more time, I am very sorry and I wish you love and happiness, because you truly, truly deserve it.

They say, saying sorry is hard but it is harder when you say it to a person with a beautiful heart but when you mean it, it is not that hard after all. With this, a very valuable lesson is learned and will be kept for the rest of my days.

18 comments:

Tristan Tan said...

I am so proud of you for this post.

i'm a narnian said...

hello fellow atenean. there are times when people mean the best things and then deliver them inappropriately.

Turismoboi said...

he willforgive yoU!

Joaqui said...

@tristan: Thanks! I am proud of myself too. Lol.

@i'm a narnian: Hey there, eagle! :)

@turismoboi: I hope so. Thanks! :)

Rain Darwin said...

An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.

Joaqui said...

@rain darwin: I could not agree more. :)

Mugen said...

I'm sure that guy have already forgiven you a long time ago. Cheers.

Joaqui said...

@mugen: Thanks Joms! :)

lucas said...

saying sorry is hard for egotistical people. and i agree it sucks to hurt and say sorry to a person with a beautiful heart. most of the time yun yung mga instances na mas mahirap mapatawad ang sarili...

hehe!

---
Danny is obviously one of the front-runners. I like him too. mas gusto ko lang si matt kasi parang siyang 'underdog' kunpara dun sa mga obvious na magagaling. hehe!

thanks!

Chyng said...

Off: where is your taken? nice!

One great lesson learned.

KRIS JASPER said...

Im naughty and I always say sorry that sometimes they think I no longer mean it.

sigh.....

Joaqui said...

@lucas: I never got to watch the start of the season so I don't really know who are the front runners. But basing it on the fat that Anoop and that girl with tatoos on her arm were just wildcard entries, I'd go for them. hehehe I like their style. They are refreshing to see in the screen. hehehe

@chyng: That was taken in Bohol. We went to this "virgin island" with a very long stretch of sand bar.

@kris: When you say sorry and you mean it, I guess the burden is no longer on your shoulder. You did say sorry and meant it, it's up to them to take your apology or not.

Chyng said...

What virgin island? At Pamilacan?

nwey, Numero Doce @ Mango Park sq! Nagsearch ako..

HalfCrazy said...

Hi there!

With a 'sorry speech' like that, he will forgive you. Lol sorry speech. If meron talaga syang 'beautiful heart', I'm sure she will.

As for my case, I don't know how to say sorry sincerely. LOL I know, why say sorry if not sincere?

Much Love,

Joaqui said...

@chyng: I am not sure what the name of the island is. hehehe

I think that's it. It's like their Bed of Cebu, at least that's what I was told. hehehe There were also other bars around that area, right? I miss Cebu.

@Half Crazy: Thanks for dropping by. :) I was forgiven. Thanks. :)

wanderingcommuter said...

sa pinakadulo at pinakamadilim na sulok ng auditorium may pumapalakpak...


clap,clap, clap, ang sabi. hahaha!

the geek said...

@wandering commuter: nakalimutan mo, katabi mo ako..hehehe let us give joaqui a standing ovation...hehehe

...

saying you're sorry takes up a lot of courage. good job here, kid...

Joaqui said...

@wandering commuter and the geek: (,")