"What happened to the entry?"
"I posted, edited, revised it then posted it again then edited once more and then revised it all over again. I did that for several times and ended up not publishing it at all."
"Is it that bad?"
"Nope. It's just prolly there is no need for me to fade away."
"... What happened to the blog? Why did you delete it?"
"What I wrote did not really translate what I truly feel. Somehow, I felt it lacked sincerity."
The initial entry for this was supposed to be published three days ago. However, as mentioned in the exchange of messages I had with a couple of friends, I decided to pull it back. Instead, the decision that I came up with is to publish the part where it mattered the most. I know, this may be a little hazy for those who are trying to paint the big picture but I hope you understand that it is done intentionally. Not that I don't want you to see the whole picture but because I am not ready to show it. Here goes the part where I felt laid the essence of it all.
After talking to a friend, I resolved that you will just have to be my rainbow. Just as how Doctor Mcfitch would put it, “someone who caused me to be foolish on what I see and feel, someone who made me embarrassed with affection and pain; someone I yearn for but I could never and would never have; someone who will be within my arms' reach but I would rather not touch; someone who will come and brighten up my new day, but will be gone when everything is clear.”
Yet if by chance the wrath of cupid will hit me and you, my rainbow, will land in the palm of my hand, I will have to lay you down for my hands are tied to a promise. A promise I will honor in the name of friendship.